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Beneath the Surface

beneath the surface

Beneath the surface rests a soul

So unblemished, so sublime …

Beneath the surface rests a heart

So tender, so crystalline …

Beneath the surface rests a child

So innocent, so fine …

Beneath the surface rests a vision

So unjaded, so mine …

Yet the world sees the mortals at the surface

The exterior,

Never Β deep, never within

Sits in judgement

So harsh , so grim

And Β yet the fallible race strives and clobbers

The macrocosm

With all its might …

Those who bow

Get lost in the abyss …

Those who triumph

Sparkle in the sands of time …

I stand strong

As i glimmer, i rise and shine … !

 

Akriti Mattu

72 Comments

  1. Amazing words. Weird isn’t it, while we are surrounded by morals that urge us to be ourselves we tend to adapt ourselves according to our peers.
    And what’s worse is that this habit is the easiest to revert back to

  2. For a first piece,I find it excellent πŸ™‚ poetry is great, I love when it flows…just don’t force things and you will shine πŸ™‚ let the words swim πŸ™‚

  3. Sahi..1st attempt hi esa hai toh aage pata nhi kya kya hoga..more power to u..:)
    P.S. I think its not forced at all..*personal opinion*

  4. Akriti….I LOVE it!!! Wow…for your very first poem to be so amazing means that you need to continue to pursue this line of writing. πŸ™‚ I couldn’t be happier that you directed me here…I have been very busy and not able to catch up with people as much….so Thank You!!! for giving it directly to me. I’m so happy I read this πŸ™‚ Hope your world is awesome <3

  5. You know I think of these thoughts often and the sneak into my writing in various ways of how not only are we viewed judged by an exterior that people use to place into boxes for filing without knowing the underneath. They judge everything by some already preconceived expectation.
    It’s difficult to keep fighting back. It’s difficult to keep being nice when you are taken as being something else. It’s difficult.
    I like the poem itself as well with the structure and pace/rhythm of it. The story telling. Also the use of seldom used words in everyday language was nice and grabbed the attention and was actually nice to ‘hear’. Cobbler, crystalline and macrocosm.
    I know this was ultimately about you but in a way I felt it was about me as well. Certain lines almost seemed perfect for me.

    Much Respect
    Ronovan

  6. As a writer I admire a poets ability to sculpt words into a clever flow of images that pierce our hearts and make us feel. Your writing in this piece is beautiful though your lines about the innocence of a child set tears rolling. I will be back to read more and will follow your blog with delight and anticipation

  7. Akriti, this is such powerful words. My Musical Director was highly impressed by the poem topic and words which brings a deep meaning to our life. I would like to ask your permission if I can use this words and play a musical piano melody. I appreciate your support and I look forward to hearing from you.

    • YES please do that.. i really appreciate you asking and considering my poem worthy enough to be made into a song πŸ™‚ What an honour πŸ™‚

      • Thank you for your positive reply, I will begin to prepare the melody. One last favor, I sent you an invite via Skype, could you please accept the invite. Thank you!!

  8. Its a beautiful poem. I love it. Poetry is expression and your poem does that… It expresses. I have always been a fan…but this is something else. Lovely !

  9. Daring structure, metrical variations and elegant presentation of theme highlight your (well-deserved) confidence in your first outing as a poet. I encourage you continue writing in this form.

  10. I like it very much, and thank you for stopping by my blog I’m still new to this and a lot of things to figure out, I’ll get there if I can keep focused

  11. First poem? I wish I my first had been half so good. Poetry allows us to capture those feelings in a way that no other form really does. You did that so well here. I would definitely make sure to continue with poetry as a means of expressing your thoughts.

  12. I learnt here that a lot lies “Beneath the surface”,looking forward to get der.Lovely peace of creation!!

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